I recall when I had a significant breakthrough in dating, I realized that this guy was straight testing me to see if I was “wifey material.” I gained so much wisdom and knowledge from that situationship I thought I was ready to meet the one. After that situation ended, I turned right around, and attracted a high-quality man just like that! He had a resume to die for from six figures in the bank (not just making that a year but in the bank outside of his retirement account), Jeep Cherokee paid in cash, love kids and a fantastic father. I had met him at the gym. I had just began setting standards for myself so he laughed in embarrassment when him and his buddy walked me back to my office but failed to offer to carry my bag. However, I still had that trouble disease to please and it when that is the case, it won't be long before it shows its desperate head.
By the world standards, he was a high-quality man. Due to my insecurities, I hit the kill switch on his desire which ended a good thing. I was heart-broken over this situation. I had broken my vow of purity to save the relationship and to add insult to injury, the sex was horrible and then he dropped me like a bad habit. He didn't know God so I know he wasn't God best for me but at the time he was ssssssoooooo much better than the guys I dated in the past. I grieved this relationships for days.
Can you relate, grieving a lost over someone that you know was never met for you but being upset with yourself to tolerating so much for so long, being anger that you betrayed your loyalty from God to man and man let you down?
I share that to say, don’t pour the wine before it’s time. If you jump out there prematurely before you have done the work in becoming emotional whole, which Treal and I walked hundreds of women and men through the process of emotional healing with our Emotional Wellness Summit earlier this year.
Rather than ending in a healthy relationship that leads to marriage, you will end up in a situationship going nowhere or even worst in an unhealthy marriage. When that situation ended, I found myself balled up in the corner confessing to my mom of how I compromised my values trying to prove myself for love as a full grown woman just as I had done when I was a young girl in high school. I had matured physically and mentally, but emotionally I was still that 16-year-old girl. There are six critical steps you will need to take before you are positioned to be found to attract a high-quality mate.
Here are those six steps.
1.) Prayer-up. This is filling your soul which is your mind, your will, and your emotions. You do this through daily prayer and worship, and devotion. Don't make the mistake of many social media, people or things your source but God. You have to seek Him with your whole heart daily.
2.) Purpose. This is getting crystal clear on your God-given purpose to include your purpose and vision for your future marriage. What is your pain? What keeps you up at night? What is your greatest frustration? What are you most passionate about? Once you answer these questions, you can get a better understanding of your purpose.
3.) Planning & Productivity: This is getting organized and stop running around like a chicken with its head cut off and finally conquering the chaos. For me each day of the week has a theme and I follow specific activities on each day. This helps me stay sane. If you don't have a system in place, you will be living by the seat of your pants inviting chaos and confusion in your life every day. One of my favorite tools to use, is the Cozi app. This help me keep up with everything from my grocery list, to-done-list and my calendar. You can download it free, from the app store.
4.) Presence. This is being your authentic self and be confident in the presence of someone of the opposite sex. But done the darn cell phone already. If you are out, be out and give that person your full attention. Don't want to do this on a date practice this every time you meet up with friends and family. Give the gift of your undivided attention.
5.) Peace. This is learning to remain calm in the midst of a storm. Do you find yourself getting frustrated, angry, discouraged or sad by a recent loss? You have two options: you can put those stinking emotions away or you can put it away (aka pray about it until you get the strength to put it away.)
6.) Prosperity. This isn’t just about how much money you have in the back as it is about the abundance of your heart and soul and your capacity. If you need support with this, check out my Position Yourself to Be Found eCourse. Once you check those six boxes and can honestly say, you have done the work, then you read for love which you are cleared to date. Speaking of abundance and prosperity, during your single journey don't shy away from dating wildly. Dating is nothing more than meeting new people and trying to get to know them better to determine if it is worth your time and energy to continue the relationship.
7.) Places to be Found. When we think about Adam and Eve, God placed Eve in the same geographic location of Adam so they could meet. Let's face it, if Adam was in the Garden of Eden and Eve was in 20,000 in another country, in those days, they would have never met.
Don't believe the lie that there is a lack of high-quality god fearing men or women. The challenge sometimes is the degree of separation between people can delay that connection. Join me next week as I continue the conversation and release the 10 places to meet a quality man.
I share those steps in my eCourse Position Yourself to Be Found.
If you know you need to do a few things before hitting the dating seen. Click here to check out Position to Be Found eCourse or join our Facebook group by clicking here.