"it isn't good for a (wo)man to be alone! let me take you from sINGLE-HOOD to MARRIED-HOOD

DOES ANY PART OF MY STORY SOUND FAMILIAR TO YOU?

Bad boys were attracted to me like a magnetic to medal!

I kept attracting bad boys until I finally learned to position myself to be found by a good God-fearing man.

I started dating at a young age. At that time, I had no business even talking to guys much less trying to be a girlfriend in an intimate relationship.

I thought I knew it all but eventually; I realized I had absolutely no clue about love, dating, nor the true desire of a man or even my own.

I dated all type of guys from dope boys, high school dropouts to pretty playboys to the elite NFL flyers and a minister (carnal minister but a minister none the less).

When I traveled 3,000 miles from my hometown to California as a scapegoat from my reality of a dead-end relationship; I got exposed to a different caliber of men. 

My first little boyfriend in my new city had a full-time job, bachelor’s degree, and pursuing his master’s degree in Engineering.  Can we say BINGO!!!! At least I thought...

When I was with him he treated me well, but when I wasn’t with him, I felt like Toni Braxton, seven whole days and not a word from you, seven whole nights and I’m just about though! I had no idea I would in a relationship like this,

Finally, I realized and accepted; this wasn’t a relationship, it was a situationship.

After finding another’s women douche underneath the counter, I finally mustered enough courage to leave him.

A few years later when I was working as a Financial Advisor by day and a bartender by night, I met this fine, huck of a man.

Like any not thinking it all the way through 20 something year old, without much thought, I agreed to meet him for breakfast after the club at 3 AM in the morning.

He seemed shy the whole time I later realized he was stone cold drunk! He was an ex-convict for a high aggregated crime; he had three children and an ex-wife.  Not exactly the picture-perfect image I had in my mind the night I met him in the club.

Being young, naive and thinking, he meant well, and everybody deserves a second chance, I become his girlfriend knowing he had all this baggage and not giving the relationship time to see if he was worthy of my trust, I just handed it over on a silver platter.

I didn’t realize at the time, but I accepted a man in his situation because I didn’t understand my worth and value.  I didn’t have any standards for who a man had to be to be with me. 5’9 and taller, cute, and a job was my only requirements. 

This situation with my new love got worse before it got better.  Before it was all over, I found myself in a life-threatening situation being threatened by him, and I almost caught a case because of some things he was involved in and my proximity to the who situation. 

THIS WAS A TRULY A WAKE-UP CALL!

​My last day in court, the judge asked me what was I, a young recent full-scholarship college athlete doing with this type of man who had a whole family, an extensive past and now caught up in some other mess facing a life sentence.

So let’s just say this was the last time I dated an ex-convict, jailbird or anyone who hang around behind bars outside of the gym, OKAY!

In 2009, I decided to hit the reset button in my personal life, setting a higher standard for myself.  I decided I would choose rather than waiting to be chosen.

Some Christian may look at me side-eye when I say this.  This scriptures start flying… A man that finds a good wife and the list goes on. 

The crazy thing some of the most successful women of God with successful men of God positioned themselves to be found. 

1.)    Serita Jakes with Bishop T.D. Jakes
2.)    Sarah Jakes Robert with Torre Roberts
3.)    Meagan Good Franklin with Devon Franklin
4.)    Jamie Grace with Aaron Collins

Truth-be-told, we are all married as we are the bride of Christ, so you are married without a spouse and a man that finds, meaning as a lady, you are a wife when he finds you not when he meets you.
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BEWARE OF COUNTERFEITS
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The crazy thing when I changed my standards how I suddenly started attracting higher quality men I met nice, well to do man no children. He had his Master’s Degree and Professional engagement license. He had condominium it seem like the man of my dream.

Don’t get too excited because it wasn’t too long before I realized he was a straight counterfeit. He said he was a Christian but he wasn't following Christ.  After a few encounters, we both realized this wasn’t it.

I took a step back and re-evaluated how I got there. I started doing some soul searching.

It didn’t happen overnight, but I realized that sex was a temporary fix for a long-term problem for true love and intimacy. I realized I was making decisions based on how I could please a man, abandoning what I believed; along with my needs for self-acceptance, therefore, seeking the acceptance of others.

​Just a few years ago, I was lonely, frustrated, and heartbroken. I kept meeting men who were interested in just one (1) thing – and it wasn’t building a life together! I knew I had a lot to offer, and I had faith in God to help bring me a God fearing man, but I discovered that I was holding onto beliefs that were magnetizing the wrong kind of guy in my life – going from one crazy to another crazy relationship to another crazy relationship. The last crazy relationship was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The guy I dated was an ex-convict, single dad, and a business owner. What a combination, I know! Before it was over, he nearly tossed me out of his moving car, and the local officials interrogated me for a crime he had been charged, one of the highest offenses in America that carried a sentence of 20 years to life. During the investigation, the police officers treated me as a suspect by ceasing my car and my home raided. After everything had occurred; I would lie down for hours wondering if my freedom would be ripped away for a crime that I did not commit….

I was devastated

afraid and felt like I did it again; I got intimately connected with someone God never intended for me to be involved with in the first place. This guy cheated on me, threaten me, and He did not have a relationship with God. It didn’t happen overnight, but I realized that sex was a temporary fix for a long-term problem for true love and intimacy. I realized I was making decisions based on how I could please a man, abandoning what I believed; along with my needs for self-acceptance, therefore, seeking the acceptance of others.

i Made a non-negotiable decision!!!

I finally got to the point when I made a non-negotiable decision to change my situation, and in the process, I discovered a proven method that will work for any woman to attract authentic love with the right man that will lead to a lasting marriage….

I was sick and tried of being sick and tired!

After being fed up with attracting bozos in my life, I decided that I would embrace the queen inside of me and boldly choose rather than wait to be chosen. When I saw my husband for the first time, we were at a speed dating event. He participated, but I did not. We had spoken before and after the speeding dating event. After that, we went on several official dates, and within two months he asked me to be his girlfriend, and within 90 days he was talking marriage.

We got engaged 12 months later and we married 6 months later!

The only think I could think of when we dated was the song by Lauryn Hill “Too Good to Be True”. I just could not believe that such an amazing man was madly in love with me (more than I was in love with him ;-)). He was more than I could ever think, ask or imagine. He is a dream come true. I thank God every day for bring this man into my life. He gives me peace; he brings joy, he gives me love, he gives me security and so much more!

Copyright @2018 All Rights Reserved Jill Bulluck