I haven't said all these to brag or make anyone to say, oh well she said her marriage is all that, whatever. No, no, no, no. My life hasn’t always been peaches and cream and it still isn’t for example my husband and I disagree what to spend money on and when more often than I care to admit and we have been on a fertility journey for at least 2.5 years.
Before now, I had a history of failed relationships and unhealthy relationship. I have been cursed out, lied to, cheated on and all kinds of stuff. It was just a whole situation. It was a whole bunch of stuff that was toxic and wasn't good, but I was able to break that cycle, and my marriage is the first healthy relationship I've ever experienced. Here are five quote steps you can implement in manifesting your husband.
#1 Admit that Your Current Process/Relationship Isn't Working and Affirm You Deserve Healthy Happy Love
January 28th, 2011, just 18 days before I met the love of my life and a day I admitted that the dating situation I was entertaining, wasn’t working. I was waiting for the guy to choose me and I had been waiting for months and at this point. I was over it as you can tell by the look on my face. I had begun the process of admitting when thing weren’t working back in July of the previous year but this day required me to make a pivotal decision, keep going down a path that wasn’t working out of desperation, hoping he would see me as good enough one day or get off the wrong path so I can get on the right path.
So for you, first things first, admit things aren't working, if you are reading this, chances are you have a history of unhealthy relationships or a history of failed relationships. Or perhaps you have a history of attracting people that aren’t on your level.
You know that you are called to be a supervisor, administrator, a doctor, a lawyer, a leader or even your own boss. You know that God has a great assignment on your life, but for some reason you are attracting some drag down Joker that is doesn’t cut it.
If every one of your relationship or every attempt at a relationship has failed; know that it isn’t you but it is your process. And I am here to bring good news;
you have the power to turn your situation around.
You don't have to give your power to anyone. First, admit that something is not working and that you have a level of discontentment about the way things are going or not going.
If you can't find a date; it seems like nobody is attracted to you or no one is approaching you or otherwise something is not working, and you have to confess that it isn't working. Say it out loud right now “this is not working for me”, and then think about what exactly isn’t working for you. Start thinking about what you want to experience in a relationship. What does a healthy happy relationship looks like for you?
Now that you’ve admit things aren’t working, we can move on to step number two.
#2 Clarity on what You Want
Step number two is having clarity on what you want. Ask yourself, what do you want? What does that look like? If you want to be married, say that. So many women are afraid to admit that they want to be married. How can you manifest something you wouldn’t even admit you desire it? Do feel like it is taboo to say as a single person you desire marriage? Do you think that is a bad thing? Are you afraid your desire will come off as desperation? Listen-up. It is okay to desire marriage; marriage is a God idea. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but you need to be clear on what that looks like and what it does not look like for you. Understanding how to love and how to be love is not always a natural thing. This isn’t talking about him being six feet tall, 200 pounds.
Clarity on what you want is examining your spiritual needs. Think about what you want and need spiritually. Think about what you want and need mentally. Think about what you want and need emotionally. Think about what you want and what you need financially. See we get so caught up in what we want in terms of the looks.
Oh, I want him to be tall, dark, and handsome. I want him to be driving this and that.
No, no, no. What do you need in terms of financial freedom? What do you need in terms of emotional support and well-being? What do you need in terms of mental support? Come on!
And once you get that, set your heart and mind on Matthew 6:33 seek ye first the Kingdom of God. God is going to be the place your cup gets fill so you can have the capacity to love yourself and love someone else.
If you don't know what you want, think about what God would desire for you. What would God's best for you look like? God wants you to be with somebody who's after his very heart, right?
Being married or in a relationship should not hold you back from your goals and dreams. As a matter of fact, I don't even like to say “your husband/ or wife.” We are talking about your destiny partner. Don't live your life in regret feeling like you're living below where you ought to be.
#3 Renewing Your Mind
The next thing to do is to renew your mind. “Renewing of the mind,” “The renewing.” You can't stop it at renew because you can't just say, ‘’well my mind is renewed, I'm good”. It is the renewing of the mind, which means when you're renewing your mind, you cannot stop renewing because it's an ongoing continuous process that does not end. It is time to go from the state of being negative to being positive. It is time for you to go from the state of complaining about what's not working, what's not going good to a place of gratitude. Today I had to renew my mind about my current situation.
I'm having Christmas at my house, and I'm thinking, man I wish I was able to get this mattress that I wanted to get. I wanted to get it for Black Friday but my husband shut that down. He was like; no, we didn't plan for it. Next year we got to plan to get that. You can't just buy it out of the blue. So I couldn't get the mattress I wanted. I wanted a dining room table, and I was thinking I should’ve got it when we bought our furniture last year, but I didn't. I still want it, and I wasn't able to get it. You know that I could be aggravated and frustrated about what I don't have, but I'm choosing to focus on other things. I mean, I still think about it. Don't get me wrong. I still desire those things don't get it twisted but what good is focusing on what we don’t have? It will never get you closer to what you want. The law of attraction tells us to become and be the thing we want, and it will manifest for us. Sometimes that becoming is something you can do on your own but most times it requires some outside support. What do you need to manifest the love of your life?
However, I decided to fix my mind on the things that are good and lovely. For example, I'm focused on things like getting a tablecloth. We have a little table I bought from Walmart, so I'm going to use that table. I'm going to put a nice tablecloth on it. The tablecloth may cost more than the table, and I also had my husband get some chairs from the store. I'm buying a centerpiece for the table too. I'm doing what I can. I bought some poinsettias, I got my tree, and I purchased a gift, so I wasn’t focused on what I didn't have. I could complain and be discontent about what I can't get right now or I can focus on being grateful that I have enough money in the bank to get fold chairs, the tablecloths, to give people gifts and to do other things because we had to learn how to focus on the things that we do have, interesting right?
I say that the next thing I have here is all on the renewing of the mind, you can move on from discontentment to a place of contentment, right? So I'm not going to be discontent because I can't get everything I want. I'm going to operate in a state of contentment and learn how to work on the things that work for me. Absolutely! I’m living in the present moment. The fourth thing to do involves complete detachment.
#4 Detach from the Outcome
Detach yourself from the outcome. Let me say this quickly; when I say detach yourself from the outcome it means; live, love, laugh, live, love, laugh. When you're dating or meeting people, you're not attached to the outcome of that relationship. You're learning to live. You're learning to laugh, you're learning to love, and you're not having expectations that this is going to lead to something. Even if you're dating someone, you're not expecting that they're going to invite you to another date or that they're going to take you out another time. Now you can have clarity on the purpose of why you guys contain the relationship. You should ask the question, right? You don't necessarily have to, and I always say; ask in the beginning what is the purpose for dating or having that relationship at that particular.
Have a dating relationship right now right? Get that clarity. Just because you guys are considering telephone, marriage and all doesn’t mean you should expect that they will marry you. You got to expect to just have a good time and be fully present in the moment. This is how I manifested my husband.
#5 Setting boundaries and standards and Stick to Them
Last but not least, you have to set standards and boundaries and hold on to them strictly. That's it. Now it's easier said than done. I gave you five tips. These are five tips of how I manifest. I will be doing another this Sunday; I will be sharing my seven-step process on how to attract and keep healthy, happy and loving people that leads to lasting marriage, which is a little different from some of the things I shared here today. Click here to sign up