#1 He want to get those emotional, physical and sexual benefits and highs. "Oh babe you, you got what I need and she said he just a friend," in my Biz Markie voice. Okay!
#2 Another reason a man comes back is to see if you're still available and waiting to be chosen. He wants to know if you're still in the market, or how have you been, if you're in the same position, waiting on the sideline to be picked, if you got in the game and/ or dating anybody.
#3 The third and final reason is that he came back to see if you have matured to develop. He's checking if you were able to change the things he didn't like about you, which takes me right into what you should do about it.
Rather than asking why he came back, I challenge you to revisit the reason why he left or why you left? I'm a firm believer that the first instinct is the right instance once you make your mind up about something. And you need to follow that. So, if he didn't choose you at that moment, that means that at that time, he didn't feel that you were the one or that he wasn't ready. If there was somebody else that he felt like was a better fit for him, that perhaps for whatever reason, that workout, and now he's coming back to you as his option B. Nobody wants to feel like their backup plan, right? So be very careful.
There are some cases, and I must give a disclaimer about this, where it may be 10, 20 years later, a situation where yall dated in high school or dated in college. You were both young, liked each other, but didn't want to be in a relationship or marriage at that time. However, ten years later, you both are now more mature and ready for a serious relationship. That's two different things. The first case when somebody comes back at three months, six months, twelve months, that's not that much time to experience any significant change. But when you're talking about five or ten years, where at one case, the man may not have been ready for marriage. You know, it doesn't matter what women can do. If a man is not prepared to get married, he's not going to marry you.
If a man was not ready to get married before but decided to get married now and you're still available, he'll come to get you! But don't wait around for it because it could be eight to eighteen years. My sister had this experience. She was ready to get married, but her then-boyfriend wasn't. He came back eight years later and asked for her hand in marriage. Thankfully she wasn't waiting for him all those years. There needs to be a distinction between the short term and the long term breakup. Also, ask the question; what made you decide to hit me up? What are your intentions now in a dating relationship? These questions need to be asked to validate his motivates.
Let me recap the points I am making. One of the top reasons a man comes back is because he miss the companionship, either emotionally, physically and/or sexually. Another reason could be he is circling back after another relationship didn't work out for him. Finally, a man may be checking in to see if you have matured enough. I'm here to support you on this journey. So until next time, be blessed. Be sure to comment below and let me know your thoughts.